the love i gave them taught me how to come home to myself

i have spent so much of my life loving people in the ways i wish someone would have loved me.

gently. loudly. fully. without making them beg for softness. without making them prove they were worthy of being held. i have walked into people’s storms with both hands open, willing to be shelter, willing to be steady, willing to be the kind of love that says, “i see you. i am not leaving you alone in this.”

and maybe that is beautiful.

but it has also taught me something hard.

some people come into your life and show you exactly where you abandoned yourself. they do not always teach it gently. sometimes they teach it by taking too much. sometimes they teach it by making you realize you have been pouring from places that were already empty. sometimes they teach it by loving you in pieces, while you keep handing them the whole damn garden.

i do not regret being genuine. i do not regret having a heart that reaches. i do not regret the love i have given, even when it was not returned with the same hands.

but i am learning that my love does not have to be proof that i can survive being drained.

i can love people and still choose me. i can be soft and still have edges. i can be kind and still say no. i can offer warmth without setting myself on fire to keep someone else from feeling the cold.

maybe i came into their lives to remind them what real love feels like.

maybe they came into mine to remind me that i deserve some of it too.

with ink + bloom, 🌻