what i look for in my partners

i am not looking for perfection. i am not looking for a fairytale that never argues, never missteps, never gets messy. i am looking for something far rarer than that: a person who shows up. a person whose love has weight to it. a person whose presence isn’t a performance, but a practice.

i look for consistency—because chemistry can be loud, but consistency is what makes a life feel safe. i want someone whose words don’t outrun their actions, someone who doesn’t disappear when things get real, someone who understands that care is built in the small moments, not just declared in the big ones. i look for follow-through. for effort that doesn’t require begging. for the kind of steadiness that says, you can exhale here.

i look for emotional maturity. not someone who never feels, but someone who can feel without making it everyone else’s job to manage them. someone who can own their impact, apologize without defensiveness, repair without punishment. i look for a partner who doesn’t weaponize silence, who doesn’t punish with distance, who doesn’t treat vulnerability like a weakness to exploit.

i look for honesty that is brave, not cruel. the kind that doesn’t hide behind “i’m just being real” while leaving damage in its wake. i want transparency, clarity, communication that doesn’t crumble when it’s inconvenient. i want a partner who can talk about hard things without turning them into war, who can name what they need without making me guess, who can hear what i need without making me feel like i’m too much.

i look for gentleness that still has backbone. tenderness paired with integrity. someone who protects what we build instead of testing how much i’ll tolerate. someone who sees my heart as something to handle with care, not something to push until it breaks. i look for devotion that isn’t possessive, loyalty that isn’t controlling, love that doesn’t demand i shrink to be kept.

i look for someone who knows they are lucky to have me—and lives like it. not with grand speeches or flashy gestures, but with steady choosing. with respect. with attention. with the everyday ways they make room for me in their life. love that shows up in the mundane: the check-ins, the remembering, the asking, the listening, the staying present when it would be easier not to.

i don’t want to be fought for when i’m about to leave. i want to be valued while i’m still here. i don’t want to be an afterthought, a convenience, a maybe. i want to be met with certainty, with intention, with care that doesn’t come and go like weather.

because i am not asking for too much. i am asking for what love is supposed to be: mutual, consistent, accountable, and real.

with ink + bloom, 🌻